Tips for a first date with anyone from an online dating site
Finally, you have arranged a real date. And what now? Where shall we go? What should I wear? What about safety? We tell you everything.
We can understand that you are nervous. After all, soon you will be meeting a new person in your life. Often the fear of failure causes the greatest excitement.
As a longstanding tester, we can tell you that you should change down by at least ten gears. We’ll explain to you why…
Why pretending is a bad idea…
Yes, you have a date soon and, yes, we believe you straight away that he is the sweetest guy ever. But why do they suddenly veer off in a different direction? Solution: The excitement of the unknown makes us do strange things. We suddenly want to be better, more beautiful and more intelligent than ever before. This only happens because we do not want to emerge from history as losers. However, much is forgotten:
In most cases, your date is also nervous!
Imagine that you appear dressed up to the nines for the date, only to find that your partner is a bit of a joke. It could also happen that your partner likes your sexed up style and you no longer have the courage to give up that role. Neither is a good option! So stay calm, because the date will simply happen. However, there are a few things that you should take to heart as “a guideline”.
A safe location is essential
Even better, a safe location that requires little expense! In the course of our career, we have found that many singles organise their first date within their own four walls. That can work, but it can also go really badly. After all, you can never know what intentions your date may have in mind. Admit to yourself that this will certainly not remain your one and only date. Accordingly, no great expense should be incurred.
Do you enjoy going for a stroll, or is there a busy park near you, around the corner? Then you could arrange a short walk. If you get on well you could extend the walk. Perhaps there is a nice café nearby? If the date turns out to be a bit of a flop, you can quickly bring it to an end.
Wear what you like
The women go extra shopping before the date, because they can never find anything suitable in their wardrobe; it seems incomprehensible. Of course, everyone involved wants to show their best side, but you can overdo it. Think about your authenticity. That is much more important! To put it bluntly:
“The little grey mouse next door may become a porn actress with different clothes. But does the mouse really want them, or just like them?”
If the date comes with the same fears and also buys themselves different clothes, it can end in a dilemma. So, just wear what you want. What would you wear in everyday life? You can’t go wrong with that.
There’s a reason if the communication isn’t right
The interest seems too low! Of course, you have to take into account if one or the other is a little shy to begin with. But there should be no problem having a normal conversation once the ice is broken. You can think of a few questions in advance and use them if the situation suits. As soon as you have found a common interest, a normal conversation flow should begin.
If, towards the end of the date, there is simply no natural conversation, you can assume that your opposite number has little interest in finding out more about you. Unfortunately, most people are much too polite to end a date early because of lack of interest.
If you find this kind of silence uncomfortable, you can bring it up with the other person or end the date.
Henning Wiechers has been monitoring the world of online dating sites since 2003. In the media it is considered the leading expert on the topic of "online dating".